Rosnellys Perez
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
OhGosh..
I just went trough the worst conversation of my life, and after I was done with it I felt the NEED to talk to a friend, just to be on the phone/person with them and cry, talk about what happened, get an advice, or just to... Get this feelings out, even if I'm usually a very reserve person when it comes to how I really (really is the key word) feel. Yes, I know it's 3:00am, but friends are "always" there for you, am I wrong? I mean, if somebody called me at 3am, yes I'll be sleepy as hell, but that they take the time to call me because they need somebody to talk to, will change that in a heart beat, because I treat others the way I'd like to be treated.
The biggest problem I have is that I always put others over me, they are always first, even if I always deny it, I will stop doing what I am doing to help them, but at the end there is nobody there for me. Tonight could be the perfect example of it.
If you know me in person, you might think this is hard to believe (that I have no "real" friend) because of how social I am, and how outgoing I act, well, let me tell you, one thing is who is there to go hang out with you, laugh with you or say hi to you, another complete different thing is who will be there for you all the time, a friend, who knows you better than everyone else, who you can't lie to because they know better and sadly for me, I only get "buddys" not "friends" and maybe is not their fault, maybe it's my fault, maybe I am fake because I wont show who I am, I will mold myself THEIR way, I will try to make them feel comfortable over me; maybe I need to change first before asking others to change...
Besides the conversation I just had, there is another reason why I am blogging this late, no, not because I get a grade for blogging, no it's not because this releases stress, and NO it's no because I have nothing better to do... JERK :). It's because of one of my classmate's blog, Erika Williams, since day 1 I noticed her, she looks kind of quiet was the first thing I thought about her, and she was just there, focus, serious, just there, (not in a creepy way though), I thought we had nothing in common even before speaking to her (so far I still haven't), but then, when we started this blogs, hers just caught me, I realized we kind of think alike sometimes, and today I saw the last thing she posted and it is the perfect definition of how I been feeling all day, and even more after the conversation I mention before. Her post is named: "lkdshglasndglanbdslogh!" creative huh? (: , anyways, on it she talks about how you can care about someone but they just be doing their all thing (not sure if you get what I mean), she talks about how people be fake now days, and to resume I just agree with every single word she said in that post, it's the same thing that is happening to me, it shows how being "nice" wont get you "nice" back, it shows how we ALL make mistakes but yet when WE do it, others judge like they never do. But the key part is when she mentions -TRUST- that 5 letters word, everybody knows what it means but few really follow. I personally have LOTS of trust issues with people, I learned the hard way, but at the same time, being like this make me push away people who care, so anyways I end up EMPTY, and I don't know... I don't feel like writing about this anymore, because I feel like I am trying to MAKE you believe my point, but at the end I know you wont give a fck (I curse a lot, sorry if that offends you), you will have your own point of view out of this, it might be similar, it might be completely different of mine, but it will never be the exact same...
Oh by the way, ERIKA, if you reading this, somehow let me know, I wanted to comment your post but blogger is being stupid (It's probably that I don't get it :P), I would tell you in class, but I be too sleepy in the mornings :).
Ps; We should hang sometime.
The biggest problem I have is that I always put others over me, they are always first, even if I always deny it, I will stop doing what I am doing to help them, but at the end there is nobody there for me. Tonight could be the perfect example of it.
If you know me in person, you might think this is hard to believe (that I have no "real" friend) because of how social I am, and how outgoing I act, well, let me tell you, one thing is who is there to go hang out with you, laugh with you or say hi to you, another complete different thing is who will be there for you all the time, a friend, who knows you better than everyone else, who you can't lie to because they know better and sadly for me, I only get "buddys" not "friends" and maybe is not their fault, maybe it's my fault, maybe I am fake because I wont show who I am, I will mold myself THEIR way, I will try to make them feel comfortable over me; maybe I need to change first before asking others to change...
Besides the conversation I just had, there is another reason why I am blogging this late, no, not because I get a grade for blogging, no it's not because this releases stress, and NO it's no because I have nothing better to do... JERK :). It's because of one of my classmate's blog, Erika Williams, since day 1 I noticed her, she looks kind of quiet was the first thing I thought about her, and she was just there, focus, serious, just there, (not in a creepy way though), I thought we had nothing in common even before speaking to her (so far I still haven't), but then, when we started this blogs, hers just caught me, I realized we kind of think alike sometimes, and today I saw the last thing she posted and it is the perfect definition of how I been feeling all day, and even more after the conversation I mention before. Her post is named: "lkdshglasndglanbdslogh!" creative huh? (: , anyways, on it she talks about how you can care about someone but they just be doing their all thing (not sure if you get what I mean), she talks about how people be fake now days, and to resume I just agree with every single word she said in that post, it's the same thing that is happening to me, it shows how being "nice" wont get you "nice" back, it shows how we ALL make mistakes but yet when WE do it, others judge like they never do. But the key part is when she mentions -TRUST- that 5 letters word, everybody knows what it means but few really follow. I personally have LOTS of trust issues with people, I learned the hard way, but at the same time, being like this make me push away people who care, so anyways I end up EMPTY, and I don't know... I don't feel like writing about this anymore, because I feel like I am trying to MAKE you believe my point, but at the end I know you wont give a fck (I curse a lot, sorry if that offends you), you will have your own point of view out of this, it might be similar, it might be completely different of mine, but it will never be the exact same...
Oh by the way, ERIKA, if you reading this, somehow let me know, I wanted to comment your post but blogger is being stupid (It's probably that I don't get it :P), I would tell you in class, but I be too sleepy in the mornings :).
Ps; We should hang sometime.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Dear Mr. President
Oh Pink... I've been listening to her music since I first started learning English, at first I had no idea what half of her songs were talking about though, but, I still kept listening to her songs because she has no fears! I love that about her music, she just speak her mind off and put the cards on the table you like it or not.
Dear Mr. President is my favorite song of hers, why? Well, because she wrote this for Bush, but, it also applied to the president of my country (not the actual one, but the one before). Dominican Republic's government has always been a big issue for me, because after all that is my country, my family lives there and it's where I was born and raised, and it hurts to see how a group of people take advantage of the power that US the people give them to try and make it better for ourselves and then they just end up lying to us, making our lives a damn HELL, killing our love ones, and just making out of our beautiful country, a MESS.
Now days, they situation with the new president is better, but there is still a little bit of corruption going on, and a little of "if you do not have money, you're worthless here" around.
I have to admit living in my loved island Dominican Republic is the MAIN reason why I am majoring in Criminal Justice now days, because I want a CHANGE, I believe our country deserves better than what we already have, a better quality of life, a better government, people with passion for our ideals, people who love our country... Not just our money; and if God allows me, I will be part of that change. I believe in what others think it's impossible. I don't care who try to bring me down, I wont give up.
Anyways, I am going off topic... AGAIN :P
Just watch the video, feel the lyrics and enjoy.
Dear Mr. President by PINK!♥
Sunday, August 29, 2010
College.
Oh being a freshman...
Today my 3rd week in Ball State University is officially started.
Been here since Sunday the 15th but it feel like months. To be away from my family and friends is harder than what I thought it will be, meeting new people has not been any easier, I am usually a people's person and I get along with almost everybody immediately, but getting along and actually having a friendship will never be the same thing; I still don't click with no one to the point where I can call them my "friends", and people are starting to get divided into little groups but I do not want to be part of any of them, I wish we could all just be one group because all of them have a different thing I like.
I told my parents I was not going to get homesick... I lied. The past week was HORRIBLE when it comes to mood, I changed from super happy to just totally down in a blink of an eye, all because I finally got the wake up call that I am all by myself in here, no family, no friends, not even a roommate even if I like having a room for myself with MY rules, it still gets lonely most of the time, anyways, when I finally realize how lonely I really am, it didn't take long for my smile to turn into sighs, tears, and a pain in the chest pressing against my heart and don't even make me talk about how much I prayed and wished to go back home, I was on this position where I just couldn't care less anymore.
I love my classes though, all my professors and classmates are very nice and they all treat me with respect and help me with everything they can, they have made me feel welcome and accepted, so I have to admit that even if I hate how much homework we getting, I still like the feeling inside the classroom.
I want to clear out that this post is NOT to complain, because I am very thanks full for all the opportunities, college education is not an option for everybody, and I've been blessed with the opportunity to come to a foreign country, a new state and a high quality school. I just want to express my feelings a little bit, and just practice on this blogging habit before I actually have to start it for class, so far it has been fun, I get to practice my English skills while releasing some stress while typing about the issues that got me stressed on first place.
BLAH. Now, once again I ran out of things to say, and it's 1:30am and I have English class tomorrow at 10:00am so that means I have to wake up at 8:00am to be on time haha so I think I should get off the computer... IT'S SO HARD NOW! I think blogging has become my new hobbie haha (Sorry facebook)... Okay Okay, I am leaving now :)
Adios*
Today my 3rd week in Ball State University is officially started.
Been here since Sunday the 15th but it feel like months. To be away from my family and friends is harder than what I thought it will be, meeting new people has not been any easier, I am usually a people's person and I get along with almost everybody immediately, but getting along and actually having a friendship will never be the same thing; I still don't click with no one to the point where I can call them my "friends", and people are starting to get divided into little groups but I do not want to be part of any of them, I wish we could all just be one group because all of them have a different thing I like.
I told my parents I was not going to get homesick... I lied. The past week was HORRIBLE when it comes to mood, I changed from super happy to just totally down in a blink of an eye, all because I finally got the wake up call that I am all by myself in here, no family, no friends, not even a roommate even if I like having a room for myself with MY rules, it still gets lonely most of the time, anyways, when I finally realize how lonely I really am, it didn't take long for my smile to turn into sighs, tears, and a pain in the chest pressing against my heart and don't even make me talk about how much I prayed and wished to go back home, I was on this position where I just couldn't care less anymore.
I love my classes though, all my professors and classmates are very nice and they all treat me with respect and help me with everything they can, they have made me feel welcome and accepted, so I have to admit that even if I hate how much homework we getting, I still like the feeling inside the classroom.
I want to clear out that this post is NOT to complain, because I am very thanks full for all the opportunities, college education is not an option for everybody, and I've been blessed with the opportunity to come to a foreign country, a new state and a high quality school. I just want to express my feelings a little bit, and just practice on this blogging habit before I actually have to start it for class, so far it has been fun, I get to practice my English skills while releasing some stress while typing about the issues that got me stressed on first place.
BLAH. Now, once again I ran out of things to say, and it's 1:30am and I have English class tomorrow at 10:00am so that means I have to wake up at 8:00am to be on time haha so I think I should get off the computer... IT'S SO HARD NOW! I think blogging has become my new hobbie haha (Sorry facebook)... Okay Okay, I am leaving now :)
Adios*
So blogging now...
This is my first post... I really do not know what to say, I just feel like I should post something so my teacher wont think I am lazy, but I am out of ideas right now. I usually have lots of things to talk about, but I've been homesick this whole weekend, having my family and friends so far away from me is not easy at all, so my mood and brain have kind of stop working (I know that does not make sense but OH WELL, this is MY blog [: )
I promise to make my next post a little more fun, for now this is all I got.
HA.
Adios amigos (:
I promise to make my next post a little more fun, for now this is all I got.
HA.
Adios amigos (:
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