When your feelings get involved

Relationships are hard all by themselves.
Getting your feelings involved while dating is probably the hardest part of all, at least for me.
I am so used to just watch my back from everybody that knowing that a man has the power to see right through me, scares the hell out of me. The sensation that he knows every inch of me, the way I talk, the way I feel when I don't say a word, he knows even what I am thinking; it scares me, it makes me feel weak, I feel like he knows he got me! And now I am not happy of having someone, but I am scare of that someone taking advantage and hurting me.

I told my mother about this, she says I am scare to "love" (I wont call it love yet). I think I am just too used to do ME, and only ME that the fact that now I care about somebody else is killing me softly!
Planning dates, waiting on texts, those late night calls, the subtweets, the facebook stalking, all that corny "In love" girl ish is all I do now. IT'S HORRIBLE.

I think I should enjoy the fact that I feel like I really like this man, and I never felt like this before, but yet, I have my walls way too up so we'll see how this ends up..